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| Photo Shot by Location Wedding Photographer |
At the end of October last year, my daughter Denisha married Ash in Cancun, Mexico. What began as a wedding trip became a full week of memories—time spent relaxing, exploring a few tourist attractions, and enjoying the beauty of an all-inclusive resort with family and friends gathered in one place.
Like many wedding celebrations, there were practical details
behind the beautiful moments. We brought two boxes of decorations with us to
the resort and paid about $400 in customs taxes to get them there. Even with
that added cost, we believed it would still save money compared with adding
more decorations through the resort. We were also given permission to decorate
the beachside wedding venue and the reception area ahead of time. Looking back,
that effort became part of the story—the kind of behind-the-scenes work that
families do quietly because they want the day to feel special.
The rehearsal brought everyone together before the big day.
After walking through the wedding procession, we shared a light cocktail before
dinner and took time to acknowledge the people who had traveled to celebrate
with us. Some came from as far away as Dubai. In that moment, it was easy to
feel the love surrounding Denisha and Ash—not just from immediate family, but
from friends and relatives who made the journey to witness their beginning as
husband and wife.
During the rehearsal, I thought I was holding myself
together well. I was not emotional then, at least not in a visible way. But the
wedding day was different. The tears started during the reveal of my daughter
in her wedding gown. I was asked to stand outside on the lawn, facing away. When
they told me to turn around, I saw her standing there, and I could not stop
crying. It was not sadness. It was something deeper and harder to explain. In
that single moment, her life seemed to pass before my eyes—from the baby girl I
once held to the grown woman standing before me, ready to begin a new chapter.
The truth is, the emotions had started long before the
wedding day. Months earlier, Denisha and Ash called me to ask which song I
wanted for the father-daughter dance. They played Post Malone’s “Yours,” and
the lyrics immediately reached a place in my heart I was not prepared for. I
was in tears before I even heard the other option, which I later learned was
Luther Vandross’ “Dance with My Father.” Sometimes a song can say what a parent
struggles to put into words.
I have always had one bad habit: I do not like writing
things down. For months before the wedding, I had thoughts in my head about what
I wanted to say to the bride and groom. Even the night before the wedding, I
felt ready. But when the reception came, I forgot much of what I had planned.
Maybe that is what happens when the heart is fuller than the mind can manage.
Still, the words I wanted to share stayed with me.
What I wanted to say then is what I still believe now: love
knows no bounds. It is not limited by race, color, background, or religion.
Love is something two people choose freely when they decide to share their
lives through joy and hardship, sickness and health, abundance and scarcity. True
love is not forced or coerced. It is freely given and freely received.
On their wedding day, Denisha and Ash made vows to each
other in front of all of us as witnesses. It was a happy day, filled with
beauty and celebration. But marriage, of course, will not always feel like a
wedding day. There will be difficult seasons, moments of frustration, and times
when patience is tested. When those moments come, I hope they remember why they
chose each other. I hope they remember the beginning—the first spark, the first
promises, and the love that brought them to that beach in Cancun.
Marriage is often described as a bed of roses, but even
roses have thorns. Their beauty and fragrance do not erase the care they
require. In the same way, marriage needs patience, tenderness, forgiveness, and
attention. Couples must learn how to care for each other, how to trim the
thorns before they hurt too much, and how to protect the beauty they are
growing together. Be each other’s rose but also be each other’s gardener.
Marriage is also partnership. It reminds me of a
three-legged race—not because marriage is a race or a game, but because two
people are tied together in a special way. Moving forward becomes easier when
both people work together, communicate, and head in the same direction. Pulling
against each other only makes the journey harder. Supporting one another makes
even difficult paths possible.
Love does not need an accountant, because it should not keep
score of who gave more or who received more. Love does not need a historian,
because it should not hold on to every shortcoming. Love learns, forgives,
grows, and moves forward. Before the wedding, there were two hearts. On that
day, in a beautiful place surrounded by the people who love them, those two
hearts began beating as one.
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